Giving it Away
by Paopu Pop
Summary: [oneshot songfic] Will Eiri ever leave Shu, or will Shu ever leave Eiri? A night with questions without answers...


**A/N: I _had _to write this. I've been so angsty lately... though this may be slightly angsty, it's just a songfic about the aftermath of Gravitation (anime). It doesn't have much plot, but I'd appreciate some reviews. (It's happy, what more do you want from me!) **

**Fic Disclaimer: I don't own Gravitation.**

**Song Disclaimer: I don't own the song inspired and used in this fic, _Giving it Away _by Mae.

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_**Giving It Away**_

_And by the way you brought me here  
__It makes me believe  
__The best is still yet to come  
__And I don't want to leave_

"Yuki, I'm home!" Running excitedly in the apartment door, Shuichi set down a small bag with his notebook and miscellanous items inside and ran towards the main room. Eiri was sitting at his laptop, tacking away on the keys. He looked up at the singer, smiling brightly. "How was your day?"

"Boring, but quiet until you got here," he grunted. "Sounds like _you_ had a good day." He took the cigarette in his mouth and blew smoke.

"Hai, I did! We finally finished our third CD! Aren't you proud?" But the novelist's cold stare didn't waver. "Come on, Yuki, not even a little?"

"At least you aren't complaining." The pink-haired uke fell over on the floor, jumping back onto his feet with a scowl written on his face.

"Why can't you ever just say, "Oh, yes, I'm so proud! Congratulations!" or something! Is that too much to ask for! Can't I--" Shuichi's yelling was cut off by Eiri's lips pressing against his own. There was contact for no more than five seconds before there was seperation.

"You need to learn to chill a little."

"And you need to learn to smile!" He was back to yelling again. "Is it too much to ask for a smile? Just a smile?" Eiri blinked. It was slightly unusual for the younger man, he was usually asking for an "I love you" or a "night of hot passion," but rarely a _smile. _"What I mean is, you already know how to be cold, to be mean, to be sad... you need to learn to be happy, to smile." Eiri's eyes became softer.

"Is that all?"

"Hai." Shuichi nodded.

"Damn brat." He patted his lover's head. "I don't have to smile if I don't want to."

"Yuki!"

"But that doesn't mean I won't." Shuichi was startled when he saw Eiri's lip turn up. Not into a cold, mischevious, or sarcastic grin... but into a warm smile.

"Yuki?..."

_Forgive my hestitation  
__Oh, but I'm learning to trust in you  
__Help me to dream these dreams  
__'cause I don't have a clue_

Hours passed by, but the minutes seemed to turn into hours as Shuichi slept by my side. I wondered how I was loveable. I had done everything to push the kid away. Nothing, not even death, could get me away from Bad Luck's lead singer.

Was this feeling really what love was? Uncontrollable laughter, unsatisfied hunger, such passion, not lust? Maybe this was what I needed all this time... someone to heal the wounds that scarred me for six years, someone to hold onto, someone who loved me no matter what shit I did.

I peered to my side as Shuichi twitched. The singer was waking, so gently like an angel. "Nngh... Yuki?" He rose from his position, the covers falling from his bare chest.

"What?"

"Do you really love me?"

Everything seemed to silence, until I replied, "Of course I do."

"You're not lying?"

"No, and keep pushing it, and I'll put you back to sleep." The response was threatening enough to make Shuichi settle and close his eyes again. I mumbled something incomprehenable under my breath.

_And if you'd be honest  
__And say what you mean  
__You know I would promise  
__I'd do anything  
__'cause I know that without you  
__I'm giving it away_

Why did I love Yuki so much? Out of all the people in the world, why did it have to be _him? _I could've fallen in love with _anyone, _even Hiro, but I was with the coldest romance novelist in the world... Yuki. Just thinking his name made me shiver... but his warm chest made me remember why it was that I loved him.

It made my heart flutter that I could break him. He built up a wall against everyone for so long, and I crumbled it, I broke into his heart and he coldly invited me in. To have the power to make the one I loved smile... it just me love him all the more. But he was still cold... still icy like the Artic. So seperated from the rest of the world...

When I saw him smile earlier, an awesome feeling filled my whole body. He had _never _looked at me like that. It was odd, and I couldn't let the thought hanging in my head go. "Yuki?"

"What now?" he grumbled.

"Are you happy?"

I felt him shift. "Sure, whatever."

"That's not a proper answer! Are you still sad about something? Is something bugging you?"

_"You _are." I felt ready to snap. He wasn't answering the damn question!

"Do _I _make you happy?"

There was another awkward silence. "Y...yes... you make me happy."

"So if I ran away, would you be sad?"

"You're not running away from me, you asshole." I felt him wrap his arm around my shoulder and hold me close. "I... would hunt you down and kill you if I did." The answer was cold-spirited, but it was a sincere response from Yuki, and that's all that mattered.

"Don't worry, I'd never leave you." I started to fade into dreams.

_Is this what you've wanted?  
__'cause I'm willing to change  
__Now that I am certain  
__That there's much more to gain_

_Damn brat. _His breathing was slowing more... clearly he had fallen back asleep. The questions he had asked were slightly random. If he even _thought _about running, I'd kill him. We'd come through too much to drop it now... everything had become fucked up over and over, but it's finally over.

Maybe it just had been questions of my feelings for him. I didn't really blame him for wavering in the confidence of my feelings, but sometimes I really wished I could be trusted. At least by my lover. The brat was probably right. I probably _did _need to learn to smile, to laugh. I can't even remember the last time I laughed. I can't even laugh at Shuichi when he does something dumb. I just call him "stupid twerp." Perhaps... this was the last piece of the puzzle. True happiness was on it's way. Maybe... if that existed.

I wondered what was wrong as the uke in my arm started to shudder.

_You've introduced me to the moment  
__Oh, but I'm looking to stay for good, yeah  
__You've asked me to stay forever  
__Well, you know that I would  
__I would do anything_

_If you'd be honest  
__And say what you mean  
__You know I would promise  
__I'd do anything  
__'cause I know that without you  
__I'm giving it away_

I gasped in fear as my eyes snapped open. And right after, tears started to fall from my eyes. Yuki gave me a quizzical look, but some concern was drawn on his face. "What is it?"

"I... had a nightmare..." I shook violently. The image of Yuki torn away from me... the look reflected in his eyes had been more frightening than death. The dream had been complete hell and turmoil.

"Then if it was just a dream, calm down then." He lifted me and held me against his chest. "Why, what was it?" I shook my head. "Don't want to talk about it?" I nodded. "Okay, then I can't make you." I was glad that he never demanded too much from me, and let me sob into his chest. He was still here, and he was going to stay. But I was scared to hell, scared that he'd leave. I clung to his shirt and continued, the harsh cries muffled into my lover.

_The nights are forever  
__But maybe I'm wrong  
__But it feels like I'm so lost without you  
__So I step towards the heat  
__It's the way I can see  
__That it makes me believe  
__That it's you  
__Ooh... oohh...  
__Da da da da dum..._

I held him close to me. I couldn't help wondering what nightmare had him so shaken up. He'd had nightmares before, but he'd just shake it off for a few minutes before falling back asleep. This was different: Shuichi wouldn't stop crying. I started to feel sorry for him, and wrapped my arms tighter around him.

"You wouldn't leave me, would you?"

_Leave him? _Was _that _what had him so scared? "No, I wouldn't. That's a ridiculous question. If you left me, I'd kill you. So why would _I _leave _you?"_

"I... just wanted to make sure..." He lifted his head, his eyes bloodshot and his face puffy and red.

"You should always be sure of it." I leaned down slightly to kiss him, and soon our tongues slid against each others in our mouths.

_And by the way you brought me here  
__It makes me believe  
__The best is still yet to come  
__And I don't want to leave  
__I won't but anyway_

_And if you'd be honest  
__And say what you mean  
__You know I would promise  
__I'd do anything_

I felt his hand slide down from my chin to my chest, and down farther. The previous thoughts of abandonment disappeared as my ecstasy rose, making me blind with pleasure. I forgot that he was heavy as we both fell against the covers, as our bodies grinded together, as we breathed in the other. He gripped my hips as he slammed into me, making me cry out with pleasure.

As we finished, I panted heavily. Yuki wore his mischevious smile again, which made me frown. "Are you going to take advantage of me _everytime _I get upset?"

"Probably," he replied cockily, reaching for a cigarette and his lighter.

"Ugh, I give up." I was too exhausted to carry out the fight, and felt my head bounce on the mattress before I went back to sleep. The last thing I remembered was the smell of smoke lightly touching my senses.

_And the nights are forever  
__I can't get to sleep  
__'cause I know there's a reason  
__I'm in this too deep  
__And I'm sure that without you  
__Ohohoh...  
__I'm giving it away_

I puffed on the cigarette as the brat fell asleep again. He had me awake, but I was exhausted. I couldn't shut down for some weird reason, so I decided to sit here and smoke until I could go to sleep.

How that kid ever made me open up like this, I'll never know. He was annoying, pushing, aggravating, the works. And yet, he made my heart melt. All I knew was that he was _mine, _and no one could take him away. And maybe one day, he'll finally teach me how to smile like he can. Until that day, I'd just have to keep trying.

_I'm giving it away...  
__I'm giving it away...  
__I'm giving it away..._

The next morning, Eiri was grouchy due to his lack of sleep, while Shuichi was quite hyper. It was a Saturday, but the novelist continued his writing. He drank a continuous supply of coffee to keep himself awake. Normally this wouldn't be a problem, but this was his fourth or so day without sleep. He was _supposed _to get sleep the previous night, but it had been wasted away.

"Yuki, you look exhausted!" Shuichi finally pointed out, after ranting about how Ryu had stuck cream cheese in the blender again.

"Really? I didn't notice." He felt like punching the twerp's face in, but he controlled the urge to do so. "If you don't mind, I'm trying to work." The silence was filled with the tapping of keys until Shuichi spoke up.

"You should really take a break and go to sleep."

"I've got to keep working on this, you idiot."

"At least a nap!"

"No." He was losing it...

"Please?" He looked up and saw Shuichi's face, eyes tearing. Obviously, Shuichi was worried. "If you don't go to sleep soon, you'll get sick! Even if you think you're not, you're still human!" The blonde furrowed his eyebrows. Instead of setting off a nuclear bomb, he was just going to detonate it. "Fine, but just a half hour." He got up and walked into the bedroom.

"That's it, Yuki! I'll sleep with you too!" Eiri was already in the bed, but Shuichi hopped in beside him. "And I won't leave until you do."

"And it'd better _always _be like that," the other muttered, before easily falling asleep.

Shuichi smiled as he drifted away too. "Don't worry, it will."

The two slept through the afternoon and into Sunday morning.

_I'm giving it away...  
__I'm giving it away...  
__I'm giving it away..._**

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A/N: Wow, slightly lemonish. e.e; I wrote it at 11:30 or so at night, and my head is all spinnish... bleah!**

**Yeah, that's more graphic than I've ever gotten. I really hate the ending, but midnight dawned on me which shut-down my brain. At least I had the respect to keep spell-checking or using a different words: it bugs the crap outta me when people don't check.**

**Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it! I'm really too angsty, but I really can't help myself... n.n; This one was happy though, ne? NE?**


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